New Year, Mindful Me: Leaning into an Evolved You – Not Creating a New You.

Opinion Piece.
By: Jennifer Gutierrez, Registered Marriage & Family Therapist Intern

There’s a reason “New Years Resolution Burn Out” is a coined phrase that results in thousands of Google articles. For some, the new year is simply another day in this life. For others, it is a beacon of opportunity to begin anew with endless goals and our sights on self-improvement. It is no surprise then that the general discourse around the new year is always “new year, new me.” It appears that at times, an emphasis on creating this “new and improved” version of ourselves places too much pressure on us to reinvent who we are.

What if the new year was not about creating a new version of yourself?

What if it was about leaning into who you are and bringing forth the strengths and resources you already have inside of you?

A new approach to resolutions:

1. Align with your values

It can be so easy to fall into the trap of what society believes your resolution should be: “lose weight” and “become richer”. However, if these resolutions are not aligned with our values, then it is no surprise that we may never accomplish them. It would be incredibly difficult to become richer when I am perfectly content where I am and do not value becoming rich financially. And if this was the case, then where exactly would that drive, and motivation come from to become richer? Take some time to write what is important to you as an individual; NOT what you think society expects you to “resolve.” Utilize this knowledge to lean into your value systems and cultivate a life that is fundamentally aligned with who you are.

2. Curiosity Not Judgement

To some, harsh criticism has served as a motivator since childhood. It was the tough love we needed to enact change in our life. However, just because that motivated us children does not mean that it will be just as effective as an adult; perhaps what could have motivated us has shifted as we have undoubtedly evolved.

What would happen if we replaced the eye of judgement with an eye of curiosity?

3. Shift Your Language

In my perspective, one of the contributing factors to not reaching our goals is lack of clarity. If we use the example above on becoming richer, how can we continue to narrow what that means? Instead of becoming richer can I instead create a life where each month I try something new with friends or family to cultivate a life rich in experiences, connection, and love.

Instead of “losing weight” can I engage in activities that help me feel strong and empowered.

4. Intention Over Perfection

Perfection is overrated. The proof is in progress. When our mind is set on perfection, we become experts at overlooking all the commendable steps we’ve already taken. In other words, we become very good at ignoring the small shifts that lead to lasting change. Should we focus on our intention instead and our progress, we might just give ourselves a self-esteem boost while continuing the journey to our goals. It’s my suspicion that with this boost in self-esteem, we may become more likely to head towards our goal.

5. What’s Worked?

Contrary to your own beliefs, at some point in your life, you have used the skills and the resources you need to lean into your evolved you. Think back to what has worked in your life and what resources were available at the time. Consider taking stock of the people, places, and things around you that could prove to be helpful on your journey towards an evolved you.

 

If you are already facing New Years Burnout, call the office to schedule a consultation with a clinician today. It may be a new year, but you are certainly not alone.