Dating Apps and Mental Health: Finding the Balance
Waiting for your hinge crush to respond to your like? The person you matched with on Bumble hasn’t asked you out yet? Didn’t wake up to as many likes as your best friend? Or do you feel like after endless swipes you’ve given up on love?
Yeah – we’ve been there, and it is not fun.
However, let’s be honest … waking up to a “like” or compliment from a new match, can feel so good though! With apps we’re able to remove some social anxiety and are presented with a pool of options while never having to leave our house! Yet, while dating apps can be helpful in boosting connections, they can also be really exhausting. When living in this age of hyperconnectivity and instant gratification, we need to be mindful of how much energy we’re devoting to our online platforms.
So how do we interrupt the cycle of endless swiping and create balance?
Tips:
1. Filter your matches intentionally.
What are you truly looking for? When browsing through matches take the time to actually read the prompt responses. You have the unique opportunity to see parts of someone’s life that they chose to share with the world of dating. Remember there is more to people than what they show. However, if you clearly see something that crosses a non- negotiable of yours – it may be helpful to keep swiping.
2. Avoid feeling overwhelmed by using one app at a time.
So many apps, so little time! With an abundance of choices, it can become so easy to feel overwhelmed. Now you have 10 matches on Hinge, 5 on Bumble and 15 on Tinder! Where does one find the time to communicate with all the options and remember the intimate details someone has chosen to share with you? To limit the chaos, try sticking with one app at a time.
3. Set a time-limit for swiping.
We’ve been there before… laying horizontally, eating our favorite snack and swiping as if we’re judges on American Idol. Where do we draw the line? If you find yourself skipping activities in-person to swipe online or swiping has interfered with your ability to manage work or personal responsibilities, consider how much online dating exposure is energizing versus draining you. If you notice that after 30 minutes of swiping you feel drained, consider limiting dating app usage to a smaller amount like 15 minutes. Setting a time limit will encourage healthy boundaries and create space for other activities in life that may foster new connections.
4. Ask yourself, is my self-esteem dependent on the validation I receive from my dating apps?
If so, it may be time to slow down our usage and do some internal work. It’s easy to go down the slippery slope of wanting to be “wanted” by others but it is so important to remember that someone else’s interest in you or lack of, does not determine your worthiness. During these times, it may be helpful to take a step back and realign ourselves with our intention.
5. Clean up your matches.
Is your hidden section up to 30 people who you haven’t spoken to in over a month? Consider unmatching to limit cluster and overwhelm. You may use the opportunity to reevaluate your interest in the match; maybe you could make a move and send a message to re-spark interest. If that’s not your jam, then maybe we weren’t that interested to begin with.
Like much of what surrounds us, dating apps should be enjoyed in moderation. Try to notice how you feel when you’re using an app. If you feel good, that’s amazing – we are all rooting for you! However, if you find yourself developing negative thoughts about yourself or your future, it may be time to take a step back and take a break.
Dating apps aren’t going anywhere; they are a constant.
However, how we present on them and how we respond to the apps can fluctuate.
If you’re having trouble finding the balance between self-esteem and dating, call us today to schedule an appointment or fill out our contact form for more information.