Premarital Counseling: Answering the Questions Love forgets to Ask

By Monica Arroyo

It’s one of the most common dreams: meet someone, fall in love, get married, and start a life together.

So many people long for this. And when they do find it, it’s truly a dream come true. Unfortunately, fairytale endings aren’t always a reality for those who fall in love.

As anyone in a long-term relationship can attest to, successful relationships and marriages take a lot more than just love to succeed. Luckily, though, love is a great foundation for success—even if it can be a little blind at times.

But with the additional help of premarital counseling, couples can set themselves up for uninhibited success by answering the questions that love often forgets to ask.

Premarital Counseling Can Ensure You’re on the Same Page

In all the excitement of falling in love and becoming engaged, it’s easy to overlook the fact that you and your partner might not be on the same page. You may want to focus on your career, whereas they want to immediately buckle down and start a family. They may want to live in the city, but you want to settle down in the suburbs.

Whatever the case, it’s important to hash out lifestyle differences from the get-go.

If you and your partner disagree about certain things, there are ways to compromise. But you don’t want to blindside yourself by marrying someone who simply has different interests in mind and refuses to compromise.

Communication Skills Are Crucial for a Successful Marriage

Early on in relationships, you and your partner likely don’t fight about too many things. When relationships are new, we tend to exist in comfortable bubbles of love and minimal conflict.

However, conflict is going to arise in any relationship. Thus, early-established communication skills ensure your relationship is set for success. This way, when you do have fights down the road, you can handle them effectively instead of establishing tension or unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Of course, communication is important even when there is no conflict. When you get married, you and your spouse become a team. Whether it’s effectively communicating what you want, need, or desire from your partner—it’s important to have the skill to be straightforward.

Compatible Long-Term Goals Make for Long-Lasting Success

When we find someone we love, it’s easy to focus on the “right now.” It’s understandable, but not always sustainable.

Premarital counseling can help you and your partner recognize that a marriage isn’t just right now—it’s forever. It’s all too easy to feel that the love you have for your partner is enough to make the marriage last for the long haul. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case.

A lot of work goes into making a marriage last. Incompatible long-term goals may present a potential red flag. If you eventually want kids but your partner never does, you can’t just assume they’ll change their mind. While entering a long-term relationship, you need to ensure that your long-term goals align.

Premarital Counseling Offers Clarity and Assurance

Ultimately, premarital counseling can help you and your partner feel most poised for success. Of course, if you’ve found someone you want to marry, you should absolutely not hesitate in doing so.

However, being on love doesn’t mean we should throw all other questions out the window. Like anything, relationships aren’t made of all love and rainbows. There will be fights, annoyances, and conflicts of interest. You will not always be on the same page with your partner.

Premarital counseling can set you up to solve your problems before they become damaging. You can feel confident going into your marriage knowing that your relationship is solid in every aspect, not just the love one.

So, if you’re planning to get married, consider adding premarital counseling to your to-do list. Your relationship will only benefit from it! Let me help you. Read more about my couples counseling services and reach out for a consultation soon