“Why marriage counseling?” you may ask.
In a word: “disconnect.” Because relationship disconnect happens.
The honeymoon ends. Careers come between you. Bonds fray after the kids arrive.
And, before you know it, tension can strain your loving connection as time passes and life piles on one responsibility after another.
Consider your communication. Is sharing your mutual thoughts, emotions, and needs no longer an everyday thing? Or even a desirable thing? Is your relationship suffering or drifting as resentments grow?
You may find that you are more roommates than real friends. You may find that you argue more than you agree about anything.
If so, anxiety, anger, or the sense that you’re simply at a loss may be sounding an alarm now.
It’s time to make a move.
A Hopeful Move Toward Each Other
That’s really what counseling is: a move toward each other. One that you may have been afraid or ashamed to make. You aren’t alone if you viewed counseling as a “last-ditch” effort to save a failing marriage. However, please know that there is no shame in wanting better for you and your partner.
Whatever your problems, learning to face them and solve them is an act of strength, not weakness. Intervention, as early as possible, is wise. In truth, marriage counseling can make all the difference in the success of your relationship recovery.
So, congratulations. Your instincts to seek help are right on target. Calling in help from someone objective, knowledgeable and compassionate often provides the path to personal insight and relationship reconnection. You just need some professional guidance to see things clearly and make solid decisions for the future.
A Proven Method Makes A Difference
Coming together in an emotionally safe space with your therapist is vital. Without fear of criticism or rejection, the needs of you and your partner can be productively addressed in your sessions. Your therapist’s job is to help you determine a course of action that brings you together honestly and compassionately. Most of all, a happier, deeply connected version of your relationship is the goal.
Of course, marriage therapy comes in many forms. One of the most sound and effective approaches for couples is the Gottman Method.
What is the Gottman Method?
Well known relationship expert, John M. Gottman, has developed a proven method of couples therapy. Over the course of the last four decades, his research-based approach has become an effective way of identifying and practicing certain relationship essentials. These essentials are recognized as highly useful for establishing a lasting, satisfying union.
The key components of a loving relationship, according to Gottman’s research, are built on creating a sustained environment of fondness, compassion, and positivity.
If you and your partner are counseled via this method you can expect the following:
- The opportunity to share your individual pasts
- Time and space to share your goals for the marriage
- A thorough assessment of your marriage
- Discussion of Gottman’s relationship elements and the “ Sound Relationship House”
- Rediscovery of the interest, fondness, and affection that drew you together
- Time to practice specific relationship skills and interact intentionally
- Skills directed at relationship maintenance beyond therapy
On the whole, the Gottman method of Couples Therapy provides the skills needed to recover your love, keep it safe and help it grow. This type of counseling ensures you will have the support to build love, restore trust, and give each other the attention you’ve been longing for.
Courage & Commitment Create Change
Your love, your history, and your dreams of happily-ever-after (however disrupted right now) are more than enough answer to the question “why marriage counseling?” Your marriage holds meaning and promise. Thus, your future together matters enough to see that it receives care and attention.
Marriage counseling provides a proven framework for getting that work done.
You and your partner can come through your tough times. It is my goal to help you restore the closeness, communication and healthy ability to navigate conflict. I am more than willing to make myself available for a consultation soon. Please read more about my couples counseling services here and contact me as soon as you are ready. I look forward to hearing from you.